[ Edward's request to take things slow comes from a layercake of fear and insecurities. It isn't just that he is afraid of being hurt again, it's that he knows what hurt he's capable of, and he feels incredibly undeserving. It's that he's come to realize that he doesn't know who he is when you strip away the piracy itself. That he's been without Stede long enough that he should have been able to figure it out, but even without him, Edward still let Stede Bonnet dictate his actions. Edward has never learned what parts of him are him and what parts are reactions to those he surrounds himself with. Each of his masks are becoming too worn to wear, these days.
This, he likes. This is easy. Close enough to Stede to feel the warmth radiate from his body, far enough away that he doesn't let himself become consumed by it, as much as he'd very much love to. Hard to find a balance, these days between what he wants and what he thinks he can allow himself.
He's munching on a piece of toast as Stede asks the question, an affirming mm sound in reply as he swallows it back and clears his throat to speak. ]
Just thought I'd take it easy. Can't remember the last time I've just... relaxed. Unless you needed my help with something?
[ What Stede wants is for Ed to enjoy this - to enjoy a little bit of peace. The life they've chosen isn't exactly an easy one, and if they can find a little comfort in the early hours of the morning, then his view is they ought to enjoy it. He knows some of the crew are also finding a little respite in the calm between storms, and they'd rather like to avoid any more life-threatening situations in the near future.
Piracy is all good and fun, but that doesn't mean he wants to be constantly under duress. This is just as good - better, actually.
Reaching out, Stede lets his hand brush over Ed's wrist gently, not demanding or asking, just... Touching for the sake of touching. It feels good to reach out and feel him right there, no distance between them. ]
I rather like the idea of having a lazy day, actually.
[ Edward's eyes drift to that touch, then pan up to meet Stede's, his own expression soft and warm, welcoming those fingers. ]
Yeah?
[ He grins, trying not to look too excited about that, but finding that very difficult. Sometimes, when your life is bugfuck insane every day, the opportunity to just do nothing is the most exciting thing you can imagine. ]
A lazy day. We'll just, what-- lay around, maybe shove more food in our faces... Sounds fucking nuts.
[ The brightness of his smile is probably a little silly, but Stede is excited. He could maybe pop up, give the crew the day off to do whatever they wanted, just enjoy the peace and quiet a little, but he doesn't want to leave this quiet nest they've made. He doesn't want to leave Ed for even a second. ]
That's exactly how it works. We can lie here, we can talk, maybe see if we can get Roach to make us some of those little cakes he likes.
[ Or that Stede likes, but that's not the point, is it. ]
[ Stede's affirmative makes Edward's eyes grow wide, excitement washing over him. It sounds an awful lot like that retirement thing Stede once told him about. It almost feels like something he shouldn't be allowed to do. ]
Cuddle? [ Is it weird that he's blushing right now? Why is having a cuddle somehow more intimate than sex? Ed doesn't know. ]
[ It's absolutely impossible not to be endeared by Ed like this, looking absolutely precious when it comes the idea of something as simple as cuddling. It's not as if Stede has a whole lot of experience (Mary wasn't much of a cuddler) but he longs for it too, no matter what shape it might take.
Lifting his head, he smiles, wiggling a little closer. ]
[ Edward can't help but squirm a little closer, himself, meeting Stede in the middle of the mattress. ]
Do you have a preference?
[ He asks like he isn't sure, like there may be expectations of him to want to be one or the other... but he doesn't know what he wants anymore than to be beside Stede. ]
[ Edward noticed there wasn't an option for I want it all, and despite the adorable little kiss he's given, he can't help but feel like he'll be missing out.
He slots himself in beside Stede, sinking just a bit lower so that he can turn inwards and rest his head upon the other pirate's shoulder. It's a unique position that allows him to drape his arms around Stede's midsection while Stede's arms can drape over Ed's shoulders and back. Held and being held. ]
[ Stede softens immediately; his arms lift to wrap around Ed, to draw him closer, tucking their bodies together. One arm scrambles to find the blanket, and then he's tugging it over Ed's body, curling it around him before he hums softly, content.
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This, he likes. This is easy. Close enough to Stede to feel the warmth radiate from his body, far enough away that he doesn't let himself become consumed by it, as much as he'd very much love to. Hard to find a balance, these days between what he wants and what he thinks he can allow himself.
He's munching on a piece of toast as Stede asks the question, an affirming mm sound in reply as he swallows it back and clears his throat to speak. ]
Just thought I'd take it easy. Can't remember the last time I've just... relaxed. Unless you needed my help with something?
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[ What Stede wants is for Ed to enjoy this - to enjoy a little bit of peace. The life they've chosen isn't exactly an easy one, and if they can find a little comfort in the early hours of the morning, then his view is they ought to enjoy it. He knows some of the crew are also finding a little respite in the calm between storms, and they'd rather like to avoid any more life-threatening situations in the near future.
Piracy is all good and fun, but that doesn't mean he wants to be constantly under duress. This is just as good - better, actually.
Reaching out, Stede lets his hand brush over Ed's wrist gently, not demanding or asking, just... Touching for the sake of touching. It feels good to reach out and feel him right there, no distance between them. ]
I rather like the idea of having a lazy day, actually.
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Yeah?
[ He grins, trying not to look too excited about that, but finding that very difficult. Sometimes, when your life is bugfuck insane every day, the opportunity to just do nothing is the most exciting thing you can imagine. ]
A lazy day. We'll just, what-- lay around, maybe shove more food in our faces... Sounds fucking nuts.
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[ The brightness of his smile is probably a little silly, but Stede is excited. He could maybe pop up, give the crew the day off to do whatever they wanted, just enjoy the peace and quiet a little, but he doesn't want to leave this quiet nest they've made. He doesn't want to leave Ed for even a second. ]
That's exactly how it works. We can lie here, we can talk, maybe see if we can get Roach to make us some of those little cakes he likes.
[ Or that Stede likes, but that's not the point, is it. ]
We could even cuddle, if you wanted.
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Cuddle? [ Is it weird that he's blushing right now? Why is having a cuddle somehow more intimate than sex? Ed doesn't know. ]
Might like that... yeah.
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Lifting his head, he smiles, wiggling a little closer. ]
You can be the big spoon. Or the little one.
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Do you have a preference?
[ He asks like he isn't sure, like there may be expectations of him to want to be one or the other... but he doesn't know what he wants anymore than to be beside Stede. ]
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[ He leans in, pressing a little kiss to Ed's forehead as he reaches out, letting his fingers brush down his arm so he can seek out his hand. ]
It think it depends on the mood. Do you want to hold me, or be held?
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He slots himself in beside Stede, sinking just a bit lower so that he can turn inwards and rest his head upon the other pirate's shoulder. It's a unique position that allows him to drape his arms around Stede's midsection while Stede's arms can drape over Ed's shoulders and back. Held and being held. ]
How's this?
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It's more perfect than he had imagined. ]
This is perfect. You feel amazing, Ed.
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What now, babe? [ He asks distractedly, happy to doze off against Stede's chest. ]
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[ His hand lifts carefully, to stroke over Ed's hair in a way that he hopes is at least a little comforting. ]
Then we can figure out something to do later.