[ Stede still isn't sure if he believes all of this is real.
It's been a long journey, leaving Mary and coming back to the Revenge, finding his crew and making peace with everything that had happened, settling back into routine and feeling right. That strange, gnawing feeling of discomfort and uncertainty has disappeared and he feels as though he's finally where he belongs: at sea, with his people, with Ed at his side. The idea of losing it all again is unfathomable, and he simply won't let it be a picture in his mind.
What he wants is for it to continue, but he's quite aware of the need to be careful. Both he and Ed are fragile in their own ways, and he doesn't want to break the things that they have between them, doesn't want things to fall apart at the seams. Don't rush, they'd said, and maybe that had been a good notion to put in place, because one part of him wants nothing more than to fall into Edward's arms and never let go and another part wants to ensure they do this right.
One thing, at least, they can do right is breakfast, and it's easy to do in a comforting, familiar warmth, passing marmalade between them. Stede lets himself look over at Ed and drink him in, from his hair to the shape of his body, the way their eyes dance over one another as if nervous to admit how much they like each other. It's very similar to the boys at the school he used to go to, looking at girls out across the river or in towns, never allowed to get close enough but wanting all the same.
The difference? He thinks he might be allowed to get closer to Ed, if he wanted. More kisses, more hand holding, all of it.
With a piece of toast hovering near his mouth, he hesitates, then looks over. ]
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It's been a long journey, leaving Mary and coming back to the Revenge, finding his crew and making peace with everything that had happened, settling back into routine and feeling right. That strange, gnawing feeling of discomfort and uncertainty has disappeared and he feels as though he's finally where he belongs: at sea, with his people, with Ed at his side. The idea of losing it all again is unfathomable, and he simply won't let it be a picture in his mind.
What he wants is for it to continue, but he's quite aware of the need to be careful. Both he and Ed are fragile in their own ways, and he doesn't want to break the things that they have between them, doesn't want things to fall apart at the seams. Don't rush, they'd said, and maybe that had been a good notion to put in place, because one part of him wants nothing more than to fall into Edward's arms and never let go and another part wants to ensure they do this right.
One thing, at least, they can do right is breakfast, and it's easy to do in a comforting, familiar warmth, passing marmalade between them. Stede lets himself look over at Ed and drink him in, from his hair to the shape of his body, the way their eyes dance over one another as if nervous to admit how much they like each other. It's very similar to the boys at the school he used to go to, looking at girls out across the river or in towns, never allowed to get close enough but wanting all the same.
The difference? He thinks he might be allowed to get closer to Ed, if he wanted. More kisses, more hand holding, all of it.
With a piece of toast hovering near his mouth, he hesitates, then looks over. ]
Is there anything you would like to do today?